The Voice In My Head
by kuhekabir
Summary: Why can Merlin hear Arthur call his name without being any where near him? And why is it that it only happens when Arthur has sex or is aroused?
1. Chapter 1

**The Voice In My Head**

This story will be slash, so the pairing is Merlin and Arthur plus Arthur/OMC and Merlin/OMC but those pairings will be really briefly and just for the sake of the story.

Disclaimer: This is just my imagination and nothing else…

Spoilers and Warnings: probably for the entire season even though I am not really referring to anything in particular and there are no warnings.

Rating: PG-15

I hope you will enjoy and please let me know if you do. Thank you.

_Magic is like life. It's like breathing the air; like drinking water. It's all around me, part of who I am._

_I cannot deny it because I cannot deny who I am._

_Denying who I am every day is a slow way to die._

~*~

Merlin hurried through the corridors, knowing he was late but not really feeling sorry for it.

It wasn't as if he had planned to be late, but he had woken up late and more delays had just sort of happened. None of which were really his fault.

When he entered Arthur's chambers, Arthur wasn't there.

Merlin stood there, looking around dumbly. Usually if he didn't wake Arthur up the other man would never wake up on his own.

After a few more seconds of staring it became evident that Arthur really wasn't hiding anywhere in the room; Merlin wasn't seeing things: Arthur had woken up without him.

And that was sort of annoying.

Merlin turned around and headed back to Gaius' chambers. If Arthur didn't need him surely his mentor would need a hand. After all, if Arthur did need him, he would know where to find him.

_Merlin…_

Merlin stopped, tilting his head slightly to listen to the sound.

Then he shook his head, he was probably just imagining things.

He did tend to do that. He had an overactive imagination but then again, no one could fault him for that. Ever since he could remember he had done things which were strange and out of the ordinary, now he had a hard time keeping track what was supposed to be _normal_ and what wasn't.

_Merlin…_

Here it was again; this time he stopped, listening intently.

He wasn't imaging it, someone was calling him. It definitely wasn't the dragon's voice; but who else could be calling?

Merlin shook his head, this was nonsense. No one was calling him and that was the end of it.

He walked purposefully down the corridor feeling a little justified when there were no more voices calling his name.

When he entered Gaius' chambers he couldn't find the other man either. It would appear that Gaius had gone on his daily rounds without him.

What was it with today and everyone getting by without him?

And why was such a small thing upsetting him?

_Merlin…_

Crap.

There it was again, some bodiless voice calling his name.

_Merlin…_

"What?" Merlin shouted, turning around until he almost made himself dizzy, "If you've got something to say just say it!"

_Merlin…_

"Oh for crying out loud" Merlin swore; this was getting ridiculous.

"Are you talking to yourself?"

Merlin turned round once more and stumbled; which was fitting as he looked like a complete fool while Arthur who was leaning against the door frame, looked composed and elegant.

Merlin glared but he had the feeling that today wasn't going to be his day.

As if he had known that, Arthur smirked at him, clearly amused by Merlin's antics.

"You didn't wake me up this morning."

"You didn't wait for me."

Arthur laughed at that, but apparently, he wasn't really mad about his servant's failure.

Merlin knew that for all Arthur put him through, he really didn't treat him like a servant. There were times when Merlin felt more like a friend and he valued those moments.

He had never second guessed his feelings, he wasn't really in the habit of doing that, but he would follow Arthur to the death if it ever came down to it.

Arthur could be annoying; at times he was a right bastard but Merlin had seen how much the young man had grown in the short time they had known each other. He didn't need any dragons or destiny to tell him that Arthur would do great things with his life.

Merlin wasn't too sure what he needed him for; his only real talent had to be hidden, and while so far his magic had saved Arthur's life, a few times; he couldn't really fathom living his entire life under such secrecy.

And how was this supposed destiny of theirs supposed to work out?

Would Merlin still be Arthur's manservant when Arthur was king?

He was supposed to be an aid to a great king, surely that wouldn't be possible while he was just a servant, even if Arthur didn't always treat him as such.

"Earth to Merlin are you still with us?" Merlin could have sworn there had been a hint of concern in Arthur's voice but he just shrugged it off.

Arthur, despite his bully tendencies was a kind soul; he would risk his life for a stranger. Of course he would feel concerned if his manservant and on off friend looked odd.

No reason to get all fluttery about it.

"Hey…" Merlin grumbled. Arthur hadn't been content to just mock him, he had also proceeded to swat him over the head.

"I'm fine, what do you want?"

That probably wasn't proper behaviour for a servant but Merlin didn't care. Today was shaping up to be a rather odd day and he would be glad once it was over.

At least that odd voice had stopped calling his name for now.

_Merlin…_

Oh for crying out loud…

Merlin's eyes suddenly widened as he finally realized who was calling him. He had finally recognized the voice and with a squeak he dashed out of the room, ignoring the shouts that followed him.

He was careful, despite his haste and eventually he managed to sneak down into where the dragon was kept.

"Hello?"

No answer.

Merlin sighed, as he was already here, he decided to keep talking anyway. Chances were pretty good the dragon was around somewhere and could probably hear him, even if he didn't want to show himself right now.

"Why can I hear Arthur calling my name?"

"Because he is thinking of you," The answer came out of nowhere and Merlin nearly jumped when the dragon suddenly appeared in front of him. He should have been used to it by now but apparently he was a little bit jumpy today.

"What?" that answer just didn't make any sense. He didn't want to be able to hear Arthur's thoughts; he really didn't want to go there.

"It will only happen if he is really calling for you. Value the gift as it has already been given."

With that the dragon disappeared. Merlin grumbled, "Some gift, so instead of sending someone to get me, all he has to do is think really hard about me and I can hear him? That will be the death of me…"

Luckily the next few days passed in peace, with no more voices calling his name. With relief Merlin decided that maybe Arthur could only_ really_ call out to him when he was _really_ needed.

But then again, Arthur hadn't seemed to need him that morning. So why had Merlin heard him shouting his name?

It all made no sense but since most of Merlin's life didn't make much sense, he decided to ignore it and go on with his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Voice In My Head**

This story will be slash, so the pairing is Merlin and Arthur plus Arthur/OMC and Merlin/OMC but those pairings will be really briefly and just for the sake of the story.

Disclaimer: This is just my imagination and nothing else…

Spoilers and Warnings: probably for the entire season even though I am not really referring to anything in particular and there are no warnings.

Rating: PG-15

I hope you will enjoy and please let me know if you do. Thank you.

Merlin hated laundry day.

It was bad enough, having to look after his own clothes; looking after Arthur's dirty socks was downright demeaning.

Thankfully he didn't actually have to wash the clothes so he probably shouldn't complain so much. It was just, he really hated touching someone else's dirty clothes.

It simply wasn't right.

At least for now it was over. He was carrying a stash of clean clothes back up to Arthur's chambers and hopefully that was the end of it for today.

He was looking forward to heading back to his own room, in order to read and maybe learn some more magic. He had to be careful but he couldn't deny himself this; it was part of him, he couldn't just practice from time to time, he couldn't imagine a life where he never got the chance to embrace that part of himself.

He had to keep it secret now, but at least Gaius knew, so it was somewhat safe to experiment with smaller things in their chambers.

He still had to be careful, always aware of the consequences but at least occasionally, he could truly be himself.

He opened the door; he wasn't making much noise, not because he was trying to be quiet but because he had always been rather stealthy.

Most people thought he was clumsy, sometimes he did manage to fall all over himself but he had to admit that he might be using that to his advantage. It was easier to let people think that he was just a harmless boy because then they would always underestimate him.

It hadn't been a conscious plan on his part; he wasn't devious that way but he knew to seize an opportunity when one presented itself.

He placed the clothes on top of the table, he was about to sort them when he heard muffled groans coming from the bed.

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered, something was telling him that maybe shouting wasn't such a good idea.

The curtains were closed but Merlin was curious, when the moans continued he edged closer, peaking through the gap.

His eyes turned almost comically wide when he saw Arthur between the legs of another man, moving back and forth rhythmically. It took Merlin a few precious seconds to understand what he was seeing.

Arthur was fucking another man.

Merlin let out a squeak, quickly dropping the curtain and running out of the room.

He rubbed at his eyes, whishing he hadn't seen anything.

"I so didn't see that…"he mumbled still rubbing his eyes. No matter how hard he rubbed the image was burnt onto his brain and he couldn't shake it.

_Merlin…_

Oh for crying out loud.

Merlin kicked over a stool, glared at a passing maid and fled.

_Merlin…_

Why was Arthur calling for him now when he was clearly otherwise occupied?

He ran towards his room; thankful Gaius wasn't home yet. After a quick search he took a vile from Gaius' stash and drank it all.

_Merlin…_

He wasn't going to listen to that any longer.

The room started tilting around him and Merlin hurried to his bed. He could trust Gaius would make a pretty potent sleeping potion and hopefully it would be strong enough to shut out Arthur's voice and bury what he had seen.

Merlin shuddered; he had just seen the future king sleeping with another man…

He wasn't supposed to know these things…apart from a few stolen kisses here and there, he hadn't gotten close to anyone yet… while he had looked at men at times, he had most certainly noticed Arthur, how could he not?

Arthur could be an ass but he had the most adorable eyes and there were times when he just wanted to ruffle his blond hair and oh no…why wasn't the sleeping potion working?

_Merlin…_

Merlin hit his pillow, burying his head beneath it.

And really…why was Arthur calling his name in the throes of passion?

~*~

Never again.

Merlin sat up groggily deciding he would never again take any sleeping potion.

Oh he had slept alright but he wasn't rested. He had a headache and he felt sore all over even though he hadn't left his bed.

The brilliant sleeping potion hadn't even lasted until the next morning. Now it was the middle of the night and he was up and to top it off, he was hungry.

With a sigh he got out of bed, pulled on some pants, shoes and a shirt and headed into the main area, looking for some food.

Gaius however was a very orderly man so of course nothing useful was lying around.

He could probably still get some food from the castle's kitchen; servants had access to it at all times. Unless he wanted to go back to bed hungry, this was his only option.

At least Arthur seemed to have ceased his activities. Merlin shuddered he really didn't want to go back to thinking about it.

He found some bread and milk and sat down to enjoy his meagre meal.

He never really talked about his childhood, not even Gaius knew that much about him, his mother had really tried to care of him but there had been times when food had been scarce and ever since then Merlin was just happy with the simplest things.

He was almost out of the kitchen when he got startled by a winded looking boy.

"You Merlin?" the boy looked hopeful so Merlin nodded.

"Arthur wants you. I had to look all over for you." The last was said with a glare and as the boy ran off, he made sure to bump into Merlin.

With a sigh Merlin made his way to Arthur's chambers, unsure of what he could possibly want in the middle of the night.

He forgot to knock, calling Arthur's name as he entered.

Arthur was standing by the window, clad only in his pants. For a few moments Merlin just stared but then he shook his head and cleared his thoughts.

"So…I know you saw me today…" Arthur was still staring out of the window, not yet looking at Merlin. He was glad for that small favour as his face had turned beet red.

He still to try and play dumb, maybe he could persuade Arthur that he hadn't walked in on him having sex.

He really didn't mind that Arthur liked men; that wasn't what this was about. But there were certain things between friends or between master and servant that shouldn't ever be discussed and definitely not _seen._

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Merlin tried to stall. Unfortunately this caused Arthur to turn around focusing his intense gaze on him.

They rarely touched, occasionally they bumped into each other but other than that, their strange servant-master-friendship didn't involve any touching of any sorts.

This was why Merlin froze on the spot when Arthur put his hands onto his shoulders, keeping him in place.

"Uhh?" was all he could manage; now he was just confused.

"I know you saw me…" Arthur was speaking differently, his voice was soft and there was a strange undertone in his voice which vibrated in Merlin's bones and in certain other parts of his body.

"Uhh…" was all he could manage still but he didn't try to get away. He didn't know if he wanted to.

Arthur just smiled a strange, secretive smile. He moved closer and then the most astonishing and magnificent thing happened: Arthur kissed him.

Merlin gasped, trying to protest, to speak, to ask what was happening but that just allowed Arthur all the access he needed to deepen the kiss.

Merlin groaned, totally confused, swept up by feelings he had never really encountered before. He didn't protest when Arthur pulled him closer, pressing his body flush to Merlin's. He could feel how excited Arthur was to hold him close.

He could feel Arthur's rather prominent erection pressing into him. The situation was both arousing and scary at the same time. When Arthur's hand trailed lower, grabbing him by the butt Merlin suddenly started to panic.

He pushed and shoved and then Arthur was stumbling backwards looking like a deer caught by a hunter. Merlin turned and just ran.

He wasn't proud of it but right now, he needed some time to process what had just happened and that would only be possible if he ran and hid for the time being.

~*~

"You know that Arthur called your name when he fucked me?"

Merlin didn't see the arm coming out of nowhere but he became well aware of it when he ran straight into it, crashing to the ground.

"What?" was his confused answer, things were happening way too rapidly for him, he couldn't keep up.

He found himself being dragged up by the collar, like some sort of dog and shoved head first into a nearby wall.

His head connected with the stone and this time Merlin didn't groan in pleasure but in pain.

He wasn't necessarily defenceless, he might not _like _to practice magic out in the open but he wasn't going to let someone beat the sense out of him without helping himself.

He tried to focus, if he could just get the guy to trip over his own feet, he might have enough time to make a break for it.

Maybe it was instinct…maybe all assholes had it, but somehow the man behind him knew Merlin wouldn't be a threat if he shoved his head into the wall another time.

It hurt, stars exploded in front of Merlin's eyes, darkness creeping in on the edges.

He valiantly tried to focus; he knew he only needed a moment to get the spell going. A power surge rushed through him and he knew that he had it; he unleashed it, not caring about the consequences for once, if he didn't get away now he might not get the chance again.

He had no idea what this guy was so upset about; but he reckoned that it didn't bode well for him.

Merlin heard the guy yelping, suddenly he was free but he wasn't watching where he was going, he tripped on something and with a piercing scream he fell headfirst down the stairs.

He raised his hands, bracing for impact as he muttered an incantation to lower himself to the floor instead of crashing.

The power surged through him but the fall happened too quickly, he was able to levitate for a few moments, breaking his fall but eventually he crashed onto the stone floor.

He opened his mouth, a scream formed on his lips but none came.

_Merlin…_

Arthur's call was the last thing he heard before the darkness claimed him.

~*~

_Merlin…_

Merlin felt like swatting at something.

Here he was, passed out and even though he couldn't feel any pain at the moment, which he knew was a bad sign; he still managed to hear Arthur's annoying voice.

"He needs to rest." That was Gaius' voice, Merlin would recognize it anywhere. Blissfully he fell back into darkness.

~*~

When Merlin woke up again, he felt less dizzy and the pain in his head, while still slightly mind numbing had reduced to a somewhat manageable level.

Still, he couldn't suppress the groan that escaped his lips when he shifted, slowly he opened his eyes only to nearly jump out of his skin when he found Arthur hovering above him.

"Guh…" was all Merlin said before flinching slightly and retreating back into the pillow.

"Here, Gaius said you should drink that…" Arthur didn't wait for him to acknowledge the statement; instead he put the goblet to Merlin's lips. He opened up because it was the only way to avoid getting the liquid splashed onto his face.

He nearly spit it out again anyway as since it was a medicine of sorts, it of course had to taste perfectly vile. He had always thought it was some sort of conspiracy making medicine taste as horrible as possible in order to discourage people from falling sick. So far he hadn't found any real proof but that didn't mean he wasn't right.

Arthur was finally satisfied and Merlin allowed himself to take a deep breath, he had come quite close to running out of air with the way Arthur had been pouring the liquid down his throat.

He had to admit though that the effect was almost instantaneous, he felt slightly lightheaded and the pain in his head was almost forgotten.

"Hm…" he whispered and Arthur actually smiled when he pulled up a chair, taking Merlin's hand into his.

That simple gesture brought back memories, Merlin suddenly remembered why he had fled Arthur's chambers but when he tried to remove his hand, Arthur just held on tightly.

Merlin didn't even bother attempting a glare because in his current state it would just look pathetic but Arthur had no clue how close he was coming to be turned into a parsnip right about now.

"What is it you want?" Merlin opted to say instead. While Arthur's sexual preferences might have come as a shock to him, (he had never seen any indication that Arthur might favour men), it was the sudden shift of attention towards Merlin that had him puzzled.

He wasn't worried or confused because he didn't want Arthur, far from it, he just didn't trust Arthur to be genuine in his sudden change of heart. After all, until a few hours ago Arthur had never shown him any interest, at least not in that sense, so why the sudden change now?

"I really like you Merlin…" Arthur said slowly. Merlin opened his mouth to respond but Arthur just put a finger over his lips, silencing him without saying a word.

"I like you Merlin, _really _like you, if you know what I mean. When I saw you this morning, I came with your name on my lips and it was as if a curtain had been lifted. I want you."

Merlin tried to speak again but Arthur was quicker, "And if you're worried about my intentions, they're honourable, I don't want to use you, and I really want you to be my partner."

Merlin just stared, no longer really able to form a coherent thought, he couldn't deny that this was what he wanted too, he had never admitted it but somehow ever since he had started to hear Arthur calling his name, things had changed. He realized that there was no going back, not for Arthur and not for him.

There was only one way left to go and that was forward.

"Yes." Was all he said and he was rewarded with a nearly blinding smile and a kiss, that devoured.

The End.

AN: This was my first ever Merlin story, I hope you liked it…Please let me know if you did, there might be more at some stage…

If you want to check out my other stories, here is the link to my main story index…

Thanks for reading, reviews would be nice.


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